Guidance is one of those things Christians, especially charismatic evangelical christians, struggle with a lot. If I had £1 for each time someone had said to me “I don’t know what God wants me to do with my life”, I’d be retired on an island in the South Pacific by now. I’ve always had some good, sensible answers, “What do you enjoy doing?”, “What gets you excited?”, “If it were your choice what would you choose?”. And it frustrates me when people don’t seem to be equipped to make good choices and get going with stuff (usually because they’re afraid of what might happen).
Now I find that I am that person. Convincing myself that when God said X, he probably meant Y and that X was probably not God’s voice anyway, just something inside me searching for significance. Not trusting myself to hear God’s voice, not allowing Him to lead me and instead taking second (or third) best because that allows me to be in control. It’s horrible! It’s worse when everyone around you knows what the right thing is, and you know they’re right but pain of failure in the past holds you back.
Bad experiences, feelings of being let down don’t let you move on. And yet, God calls us to wholeness. He uses us in our brokenness, but we’re striving to be more like Jesus, healed and whole. Hearing God’s voice and following that call, even when it’s hard, painful or risky.
I’m fighting the demons of fear that lurk inside of me. Not by deliverance ministry, not through long prayers, not by acts of heroic battle, but by simply living in the light of his promise “I am with you until the end of the age.”. If he is with me, of whom shall I be afraid?
This post is filed as: mini thoughts. It was written by mrdavidberry.